To Hell With All Sports, Except Football

By New York Times Bestselling Author Michael Levin

Much has been made of whether, how, and when professional sports will return to post-pandemic America.

Should they play in empty in empty stadiums and arenas?

Strictly in Arizona or Las Vegas?

Skip ahead to the playoffs?

And so on and so forth.

I have a much simpler solution: forget the whole thing.

It’s time to do away with Major League Baseball, the NBA, and pro hockey.

Why?

Because they stink.

The games have been transformed so much that they are not even watchable.

Baseball has gone from chess to checkers, from a game of complexity, strategy, and subtlety to a game of no shame in striking out until you hit a home run.

ESPN first transformed baseball with its “chicks dig the long ball” campaign.

If you didn’t hit a home run, you didn’t end up on SportsCenter.

Goodbye station-to-station baseball, and if you’re old enough to keep score on a scorecard, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

And now it takes almost four hours to play.

Bor-ing.

The NBA?

Schoolyard.

Nobody penetrates. They just kick it out to a guy behind the three-point arc who chucks it up.

Gone is the artistry and the banging under the boards which made the game so physical and a joy to watch.

Hockey?

I lost faith with the NHL in the 1970s when they went to those silly helmets.

Cowards.

The only sport still worth its salt these days is the NFL, which has grown more complex, but still retains the excitement of a legitimate heavyweight boxing match, as if you could still find a legitimate heavyweight boxing match.

Only about eight of the roughly 326 teams in the NFL are watchable, but those teams, when they play each other? Awesome.

Let ’em play — with fans, without fans, entirely in Vegas, who cares.

But the other three? Do we really need them?

When I was a kid growing up in the 60s and 70s, sports was sports.

You paid a few bucks, you bought a seat, you bought a hot dog and a soda or a beer, you rooted for teams that really didn’t like each other, and it was great.

Then sports became entertainment. The game became secondary to the show.

Lately, sports has made yet another transformation, from entertainment to data.

They don’t need fans in the stands.

They don’t even need stands.

All they need is a way to track all the data that each game produces, which is sliced, diced, and resold for billions of dollars.

Sports data is nothing but a billion dollar data business. Who cares who wins or how many attend, as long as you can sell statistics about launch angle, shot trajectory, and so on.

Even worse, these days, all the players are friends.

They all have the same agents, and they all live in the same gated Florida communities.

There’s no real animosity, and hatred among the players equals fun for the fans.

Look at the lessons of The Last Dance, when Isiah hated Michael, who hated Larry, who hated Magic…those were the days.

They became friends later? Fine. But in the heat of battle, the competition was fueled by dislike.

So if you miss the massive corporation known as your favorite baseball, basketball, or hockey team, I understand.

I used to feel the way you did.

With the exception of certain NFL teams, not anymore.