What The College Admissions Scandal Taught Me (Spoiler Alert: It’s About Olivia Jade)

I learned something from the Varsity Blues college admissions scandal that I might never have known otherwise.

And here it is: Olivia Jade Giannulli, daughter of the allegedly felonious Lori Loughlin, is ridiculously pretty. So pretty that she should not have to go to college.

What was USC thinking? Why did she have to endure the charade of pretending to be a member of her high school men’s wrestling team, or whatever lie they told, to get into USC? Why didn’t she just show them some of her Sephora make-up and TRESemmé hair care videos? If I’d been on the admissions committee, I would have accepted her immediately.

While still a teenager, Olivia Jade has figured out something that takes other people in Los Angeles decades to grasp, if they ever figure it out at all: how to be famous for being famous.

In case you’re an actual adult, you may not be aware of the concept of YouTubers and influencers.

There are people who have YouTube channels and do weekly videos on makeup, baking, trick basketball shots, goofy guy stuff, online gaming, and other vital topics of the day.

Their videos get millions or even tens of millions of views. Companies pay these YouTubers millions of dollars to showcase their products and services.

Olivia Jade Giannulli is one such influencer.

I’m a very busy person, as I’m sure you’re aware, but today I spent 11 minutes watching Olivia Jade get her makeup ready for her first party at USC. She layered on all kinds of stuff I’ve never heard of, apparently much of it from Sephora, a makeup firm.

Then I watched another video of equal length, in which she traveled to New York City with her boyfriend. They had a lovely dinner with a group of attractive friends. I was envious.

The point of college, last time I checked, is to grow intellectually, develop social skills, and gain the knowledge and credibility to enter the workforce.

Olivia Jade is already in the workforce. She probably makes more money from her videos than any of her professors or deans make at USC.

And unless she’s the greatest actress since Felicity Huffman, it looks like she’s enjoying the hell out of life.

What’s not to enjoy? She’s young, she’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s famous, she’s influential, and she’s a social media star.

For doing nothing other than being beautiful and cheerful.

It’s so Zen I can’t think straight.

Mom definitely did her a huge disservice, schlepping her into USC. Olivia Jade didn’t even want to go to college — she even said so on one of her videos last fall.

So I say, let Olivia Jade be Olivia Jade. Let her drop out of USC and go back to making videos. Sephora dropped her. Sephora should take her back.

And if I’m USC, I don’t throw Olivia Jade out of school. Instead, she gets her B.A. immediately, along with a tenured position in the business school, teaching students what she knows about marketing, branding, and positioning.

Unless she’s having too much fun doing what she’s doing now to become a professor.

And to think that if it weren’t for this whole scandal, I would never have known who she was.